A Letter To My One Year Old

My beautiful Bird,

I can't believe we've just hosted your first birthday party. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday you were a tiny weeny 6lbs 15oz newborn and now you're walking around on those little soft feet, waving and applauding anyone who looks at you and wiggling your little bum whenever you hear music.

Our first year together has been the best of my life - you truly are my best friend. We've had some obstacles thrown our way but I know we'll always help each other through difficult times.

I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt when I met you for the first time. I'd been sure all along that you'd be a girl and when Daddy said "we're gonna need a pink hat" and you were placed on my chest, I felt like I'd known you forever. You were just... You. I knew you. I'd grown you and stroked you and responded to your hiccups and kicks in my tummy, and now you were here, staring at me with those huge, alert brown eyes. I remember saying "hi baby, hi baby" through the happiest tears and feeling so relieved that you were with me and you were safe. In love, proud (of you, me and Daddy), a little bit sad not to be pregnant anymore and the thought of having to share you with the world, exhausted and so overwhelmed, but just so completely and totally in love.

You filled me with so much pride that I didn't bother trying to rest and recover, or "sleep when the baby sleeps" as everyone seems to advise in the early days. I just needed to show you off to the world. Instead of sleeping when you did, I watched you. You still look as peaceful and angelic now when you sleep as you did when you were minutes old. I took hundreds of photos and videos of you.

By day 2, you'd met Grandma, Grumpy and Grandy, and by day 4 we were taking you into Daddy's work to introduce you to his colleagues. Then we took you out for lunch. You still hadn't learnt to latch on by this point, so we sat in a restaurant at midday feeding you colostrum from a syringe and we didn't think anything of it. We may have had all sorts of funny looks but we didn't notice. We were too mesmerised by you.

On day 9, we took you to Bognor to meet your Nanny Toto, Great Nanny Von and Great Pop. Around the 2 week mark, we hosted an open house so all of our friends who hadn't met you yet could come and see you. By week 3, Nanny Jack had come up from Devon to meet you.

When you were 6 weeks old, Daddy was feeling poorly so his work let him take 4 months off. I treasured that time so much. We were all getting to know each other again - bonding with you, and me and Daddy getting to know each other as parents. I didn't realise how much I loved him until he became your Daddy.

You're a bit of a Mummy's girl at the moment. You love most people you meet but it's me you come to when you want something or you're sad or tired, and I love that. I hope you'll always come to me. I think you will.

I remember when you were tiny, crying when I watched your sleep because I just couldn't believe how beautiful you were, and that I'd made you. I still have moments where I blink back tears when I watch you sleeping because I am so indescribably proud of you and grateful for you. You will never understand the amazing impact you've had on this family.

Your gorgeous giggle brightens my day every time I hear it... If only you could see the lengths Daddy and I go to trying to make you laugh. It's the most magical sound I've ever heard and I will never stop trying to make you laugh.

Your personality is developing more every day and it's mesmerising to see. You have your Daddy's confidence and that makes me so happy. You're such a determined little girl and you never give up. If something doesn't go your way, you sit and think about how to try again differently. You do this until you figure it out and it's inspiring. I wish I had that quality and I hope you never lose it.

You're chatting away, saying "dada, "mama," "hiya," "yeah," "no" and "cuddle" (whilst reaching your arms up to us - cutest thing ever!).

Bedtime especially brings out your cheekiness! No matter how tired you are, all you want to do is sit up, stand up, wiggle your bum, poke us, pull my hair... But always with that irresistible grin that makes it impossible to not find funny.

You did a weird upside-down wiggle-crawl thing from 5 months old to get around, and you were SO mobile. I'd often find you following me out of the room laying on your back. Around 8 months was when you realised you could get around by crawling properly, and that you could see the world the right way up by doing it that way, too. You started walking at 11 months old and now, at one year, you walk most of the time.

The way you behaved on your birthday party reminded us what an amazing little girl you are. You were awake for about 8 hours, with over 100 people coming to see you (I may have gone slightly overboard with the invites - I was excited!), people you didn't recognise picking you up, playing with you, talking to you, and you didn't cry, whinge or get upset once. You were amazing, so sociable, happy to spend time with anyone and everyone, taking food from people's plates and just being an absolute joy.

You make us so proud and reassure us that we're doing a good job. You are the love of my life and I'm so proud and grateful that you are mine.

I love you so much beautiful, happy first birthday.

All my love forever, your Mummy xxxx