My Wedding Day

Our second wedding anniversary is this weekend and we are attending the wedding of some of our best friends in a couple of days, so I thought I'd relive my excitement leading up to our big day in the form of a wedding-themed post!

We got married at a venue called The Green House Hotel in Bournemouth, right by the beach. It has been voted in the past as the best wedding venue in Southern England. We fell in love with it as soon as we saw it.

These photos are not from my own wedding but are just to show you the venue :)

We hadn't even known it existed - we actually first noticed it on our way out of an appointment at another local hotel and thought we'd have a quick peek inside.

Most venues have a strict policy for booking an appointment to view and discuss wedding packages but when we popped in unannounced, the staff were so excited to show us around there and then. Their enthusiasm about the venue and the ethos was infectious and we loved everything they stood for.

Having met Steve working for a solar energy company, it was just perfect that the hotel was "green" (hence the name), and is recognised as one of the top "eco hotels" in the world.

From the minute we booked out wedding here, we were thrilled with the service we received. We had a dedicated wedding planner called Sarah and she was fabulous,

My dress was by Essense of Australia. It was the second dress I tried on out of 19, and my Mother-In-Law suggested it. I wasn't convinced when I saw it on the hanger - I was sure I wanted a fitted mermaid style dress and this didn't match up to the image I had in my head, but trying on wedding dresses was exciting and fun so I agreed to give it a go.

As soon as I saw it in the mirror, I felt like a Disney princess. I completely fell in love. I also loved most of the other dresses I tried on, though! But when I noticed that from then on, I kept coming back to "the second one" and comparing them all to it, I realised it was the one.

A few weeks later, I ordered the dress and a single tiered, cathedral length veil with scattered diamontes to wear with it. I chose the lace-up back over the button-up back, and chose to wear it with straps rather than strapless. I had planned to remove the straps for the evening reception but throughout the day I received so many compliments on the dress and the straps, that I decided to keep them on. My shoes were from Debenhams, and were quite plain as the rest of the outfit was not!

The bridesmaids and I had our hair done for the day by a local hair stylist called Tandee. She was fantastic. The bridesmaids had their hair curled and wore it loose, with a plait either side of their heads pulled around and pinned at the back. My hair was curled and pinned back into an updo with a French plait along one side.

Our makeup was done by a local makeup artist called Ruby. She was lovely and so talented. We all felt beautiful.

We hired suits for Steve, the Best Man and the ushers from Posh Togs and were really happy with the service. They did a brilliant job of matching up the colours perfectly so that the cravats and pocket squares matched the bridesmaids dresses. The men wore black suits with tails and ivory patterned waistcoats.

Our wedding flowers were breathtaking.We used Concept Flowers, based in Christchurch, and I couldn't believe how beautiful they were when Lauren delivered them to the venue on the morning of the wedding. I chose a waterfall bouquet of white oriental lilies, white roses and some other gorgeous white flowers with some greenery, and the bridesmaids had white rose posies. They were truly stunning and smelt amazing! We all received so many compliments and were really reasonable cost-wise, too.

Our centrepieces were quite different. I ordered glass goldfish bowls online and round mirrors to sit underneath them. I ordered "water pearls" in the same blue as the bridesmaid dresses. These are little beads that expand to little squidgy balls when soaked in water, and they look really effective. I placed a white pillar candle in the centre of each bowl, poured in the water pearls and scattered silver diamontes onto the mirrors. The centrepieces were unique and I loved them. They were also relatively cheap to make. I made flags using various patterned blue paper and wooden sticks, and bought wooden numbers from The Range and stuck them onto the flags to create table numbers. These were placed into the goldfish bowls.

Our place settings doubled up as favours. I ordered tiny blue buckets (available here) and some blue sugar coated heart shaped chocolates. I made smaller flags using lolly sticks, also from The Range, and the same patterned blue paper that I used for the table numbers. I wrote each name using a Calligraphy pen. I put the mini flags into the little buckets. The place settings matched the centrepieces.

The wedding breakfast was absolutely amazing! We had a mushroom amuse-bouche, followed by a pea and white truffle soup to start. The main course was roast beef, and the dessert was a sticky toffee pudding. A few of us (including myself) were vegetarian so we had a courgette, citrus and walnut pasta dish for a main course.

Between the wedding breakfast and the evening reception, we had (more) champagne and petit fours in the garden. I didn't eat any myself, I was full from my yummy meal and didn't have much of an appetite all day. They looked lovely though! There was a selection of mini shortbread, mini eton mess and mini chocolate brownies with strawberries, all served up on slates.

For the evening buffet, we went for something a bit unusual - bacon and egg baps with chips! There was the option for a normal buffet, fish and chip newspaper cones, or bacon baps. We thought about our friends and family and decided this would be the best and the most fun to suit our guests following the wedding breakfast.

Our wedding cake was also quite unique. We had four tiers, but instead of cake, we had wheels of different cheeses, topped with fruit. Alongside the cake, we placed baskets of various crackers, chutneys and pickles. There was no cake left at all by the end of the evening, so I assume it was popular!

Our "first dance" was to "I Luv U" by The Ordinary Boys - again, this is probably an unusual choice but we felt it was perfect for us. Although, we ended up having a "second first dance" when "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers played, as our guests all gathered around and watched us dance again. This was much more emotional as the song has a lot of meaning to us following what had been a really tough year.

Our photos were shot by Milton Boyne, who I knew before I met Steve. He's an amazing photographer and so lovely! He also videoed the day for us, and watching it back still makes me so incredibly happy and emotional. He captured the day so well and I will be forever grateful for that. (He also filmed all of the speeches, which were unbelievably funny and brilliant! There wasn't a dry eye in the house, the boys did so well).

I hope you enjoyed reading about our wedding day and having a look through some of my favourite photos!

Love, Gina Xx

DIY Sensory Bottle Tutorial

I thought I'd write a tutorial on one of the simplest and most loved baby toys we have in the house - sensory bottles.

They never seem to get old. For months now, Bird has got super excited about them and sits playing with them for ages, completely fascinated.

Sensory bottles are so easy to make and can be really cheap, too.

Three sensory bottles I've made for Bird

What you'll need:

- Some bottles - I bought a 6 pack of mini bottles of Pepsi from our local 99p shop (particularly good for smaller babies as they are not too big and heavy for them to hold and shake)

- Fillings - you can use water, glue, food colouring, rice, pasta, baby oil, washing up liquid, beads, tin foil, glitter, buttons, sand, seashells etc

- Strong glue to keep the lid on

Method:

I emptied and thoroughly washed the bottles, scrubbing off the sticky stuff left over from the labels. I then decided what I wanted to put in each one. In the first bottle is clear glue from G&Ts with some "konad" I had lying around - this is commonly used for nail art and is available on Ebay. The second bottle contains baby oil, water, blue food dye and blue glitter. The last bottle contains coloured washing up liquid and some beads of different colours and sizes. I used plastic beads because wooden ones floated!

Once I decided what to put into each bottle, I carefully poured the contents in, put some strong glue into the threads of the lid, and quickly screwed the lids on tightly whilst the glue was still wet.

I would recommend leaving the glue to dry for a day or so, to ensure the lid is strongly attached to the bottle and can't be removed.

I then washed the outside of the bottles thoroughly with warm water to remove any washing up liquid or glue that may have spilled in the "filling up" process.

This is the most important step: be sure to meticulously tidy up the work area so that no beads, buttons or any other potentially dangerous items are left around for children or babies to find and no non-edible substances are left behind.

You really can put almost anything into these bottles. Even water on its own would be perfectly fine. I chose liquids with a thicker consistency so that the beads and konad would move more slowly up and down the bottles. You also don't need to use any liquid at all - the point of sensory bottles is to explore different sensations. Dry rice or pasta would work well due to the rattly sound it would make when shaken. As long as they're visually stimulating or make interesting sounds, and are made safely, hopefully your baby will be more than happy with them! :)

Again, it's so important that your bottles are sealed as tightly as possible and that work areas and thoroughly cleaned and tidied.

I would love to know if you try these yourselves and to know what you put in yours. Let me know on Instagram (GinaShergold1) and I may borrow some of your ideas when I make some new ones!

Thanks so much,

Love, Gina Xx

My Nursing Chair - Upcycle Project

I always knew I wanted to have a nursing chair and stool for our baby but they can be expensive. We didn't know how much, if at all, it would be used.

So Steve and I compromised, and he agreed that if I could find a cheap one, we would go for it.

I looked all over the Internet and eventually found a second hand one on Gumtree about 3 miles away from our house. We contacted the current owner and agreed to buy it from him.

To our disappointment, when we arrived the chair and stool were much grubbier than they looked in the photos. They were beige but covered in stains.

I was confident we'd be able to revamp them somehow, so we gave him £50 and took them home.

I scrubbed and scrubbed at the fabric for what felt like hours, and although they improved, they didn't look great.

Time to call in the expert!

As I mentioned in Bird's Nursery Tour, my granny can turn her hand to pretty much anything sewing related and although upholstery wasn't her forte, I knew she was my best bet at breathing a bit of life into them!

She took me to a beautiful little fabric shop in Lymington and it took forever to decide which fabric I wanted. Steve wasn't with me, and the one that had gotten my attention was a bit "out there" but I kept coming back to it, so that's the one I chose. It was quite a dark grey with pretty white elephants. This matched the colour theme of the grey starry curtains my granny was making, as well as the jungle theme on our feature wall.

She took them away and worked her magic... Here is the finished product.

 

Granny used some spare fabric from the curtains to add onto the pockets, so the chair matched the curtains.

This is definitely one of my favourite products and I still use it now at almost 11 months. If you have the space and funds for a nursing chair, I would absolutely recommend going for it. The label on this particular chair says Dutailer.

The pockets in the arms are perfect for keeping a couple of spare breastpads, a muslin square, your mobile and a bottle of water for yourself.

The chair and stool both have a gliding mechanism, so you can gently rock baby (or yourself) to sleep.

I don't really use the chair during the night anymore as I feed Bird in bed if she wakes, but it's perfect for daytime cuddles, storytime and to put my feet up once I've put her to bed. Even when we don't use it for baby purposes anymore, I'm definitely going to be keeping it!

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I'm really sorry I can't advise more on the actual upcycling process but it's always worth checking local companies or asking family or friends to help if you have a project like this - some of them may have talents you don't know about :)

Love, Gina Xx

Review - My Travel System

We looked at so many different pushchairs and travel systems when I was pregnant and quickly came to the conclusion that we'd like a Cosatto Giggle.

Their designs are bright, colourful and really distinctive.

The design we finally chose after much deliberation (and bearing in mind we didn't know our baby's gender so wanted to get something gender neutral) is called Sunny.

The travel system came with a carry cot, pushchair seat, car seat, rain cover, matching changing bag and the chassis.

One of the features that drew us to this particular brand is that the chassis is lightweight and easy to maneuver. I'd tested a few different pushchairs but found most of them quite hard to steer. The Cosatto supposedly had one of the lightest frames and having only three wheels meant it was easier to steer.

The pushchair seat can be used world facing or parent facing. We've always kept it parent facing as we like to see Bird and she likes to see us too.

It can also be put into three different positions with the recline feature. This is perfect for when she's wide awake and wanting to see the world around her, and for when she's tired and ready for a sleep.

The foot muff is reversible so there are a few different ways it can be displayed. It can also be removed to leave just the liner in the back, or that can be fully removed too so that baby doesn't get too hot when the sun decides to make an appearance.

The frame is also really easy to collapse and hardly takes up any space at all. It can be collapsed with the pushchair seat in tact if world facing, but if parent facing the seat needs to be removed. I don't find removing the carry cot, car seat or pushchair seat from the frame difficult.

You can easily alter the handlebar so it's easier to push depending on your height.

We really love this travel system and have no regrets whatsoever about buying it. We receive regular compliments and Bird has always been very happy, cosy and comfortable.

10/10 from us! :)

Love, Gina Xx

Bird's Nursery - The Tour

I painted Bird's nursery when I was pregnant - I just could not wait to decorate! The whole house needed a revamp but I was desperate to get our baby's room done. We went for neutral colours as we didn't find out the gender.

We no longer live in this house, but I thought I'd share some photos of what I did with the room and talk about what's in it.

Before I got my hands on it, the walls were bright white and the built-in wardrobes were that orangey coloured pine. The curtains were faded, slightly discoloured floral things with an old net curtain.

We wanted the room to be bright and fun, so we chose a soft green colour for three walls and a bright yellow for the feature wall between the built-in wardrobes.

To brighten it up and make it more fun, I ordered a wall decal from Amazon (click here) for £4.44. I absolutely love it! I was slightly worried that the textured wallpaper would mean the stickers wouldn't stick very well, but they were fine and the wallpaper actually added some nice texture, particularly into the tree and the elephant.

The button rug was £35 from Ikea (click here) and one of the reasons I love it so much is that it covered up most of the hideous carpet!

The cotbed and changing table also came with a wardrobe, but as there were already two fitted wardrobes in the room (and the changing table doubles up as a chest of drawers), we used that in another room. This range is from Mamas and Papas and is called Rialto (click here). The quality is fantastic.

The white ottoman is an upcycled piece. It used to be an orangey pine one. My dad and I painted it white, and then my absolute saint of a granny who is amazing with all sorts of sewing/crafty things made a cushion to go on top. She used a piece of foam and covered it with a fabric I chose (grey with white elephants), and then used velcro to fix it on top.

I am obsessed with my nursing chair and stool! I bought these second hand on Gumtree for £50. They were a beige colour and quite grubby. Again, Granny came to the rescue and managed to upholster it using the same fabric I'd chosen for the ottoman. I still use it every day (I'm sitting in it now) and it's one of the best things I've bought. LOVE.

Granny also made the nursery curtains, although I don't have a photo of them. They're beautiful - pale grey with dark grey stars. They tie in beautifully with the nursing chair and ottoman, even though the fabric is different. She used blackout lining and let me choose the fabric, and then surprised me by bringing them round one day and hanging them. I've got them folded and stored away safely as I plan to use them wherever we end up moving to.

Another surprise from my lovely Granny was to make bunting, which wasn't easy considering she didn't know if we were having a girl or a boy, but she did a fantastic job and I can't wait to hang it properly in Bird's room once we move.

I don't have a good photo of it and it's now away in storage, but on the wall I hung a grey and yellow canvas which said "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day" from Next Home. It brought the room together nicely with the grey to match the curtains and nursing chair and the yellow to match the feature wall.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

Love, Gina Xx

Our Breastfeeding Journey

*Before I start this post, I want to make the point that I am not trying to "shame" anyone who didn't/couldn't breastfeed, I'm simply sharing my journey with it. How others feed their children is none of my business and the last thing I want to do is upset anybody - this is purely a blog to document my journey as a new mother and feeding my baby is a very big part of that! :)*

As I mentioned in my labour and birth post, breastfeeding didn't get off to the best start for Birdy and I, but I'm really proud to say that at 10.5 months we're still going strong.

After a long and fairly traumatic labour, she was jaundiced and weak, and was therefore unable to latch.

Determined to give it my best shot, I called lactation consultants out to my house every day. I hand-expressed and syringe fed in the beginning. This wasn't easy - hand expressing can be hard work and time consuming. I was lucky in that I was able to express quite a lot, although I know of some ladies who really struggle.

It also wasn't as simple as squirting the syringe into her mouth. In order to teach her how to latch and suck properly, one of us needed to put the tip of our little finger to the roof of her mouth squeeze in a tiny bit, and then wait for her to start sucking before giving her the rest.

It was exhausting.

On one occasion, we were nearly re-admitted to hospital because Bird had lost around 12% of her birth weight. The midwife who'd come to see us spoke to a doctor at the hospital who advised she needed 33ml every 2 hours.

I decided to set an alarm so that I never went for more than 2 hours without feeding her. Because she was still so weak, I needed to take her clothes off, blow her face and tickle her feet to wake her up.

Below are some screenshots from my phone. I used to make notes of every feed, the amount she'd taken and the time, for my own records and so I could discuss them with the midwives and lactation consultants.

Steve would watch me crying whilst I tried my hardest to help her latch and every night he would offer to go the shop and buy some formula, but I stubborn and determined by this point to breastfeed.

By this time, my milk had come in and the amount wasn't a problem, but before she was able to latch and feed on demand, I was expressing constantly to make sure my supply didn't disappear.

In doing this, I unknowingly caused major oversupply. This may sound great, but it didn't feel it! I was engorged all the time because I'd let me body think that it needed to make loads of milk all day and night, so if we went out and I didn't express for two hours or so, I would be stinging and in pain.

Bird was still struggling to latch and it was heartbreaking. I decided to invest in the Medela Calma bottle (£15.99 in Mothercare - http://www.mothercare.com/Medela-Calma-Breastmilk-Bottle---150ml/322906,default,pd.html), which supposedly simulates the feeling of breastfeeding, meaning the feeding technique is similar.

On the evening of day 5, I cried my eyes out as I watched Steve give Bird her first ever bottle of my expressed milk. I was so upset because I was convinced this would be the end of our journey and that she'd never learn to latch if we gave her bottles. I really was devastated.

Steve then passed her to me when he went to brush his teeth, and I decided to try again to breastfeed her myself.

I couldn't believe it when she latched straight on! I was so happy, I cried.

From there, apart from blocked milk ducts (OUCH) and the occasional bleeding boob due to my poor girl's struggle with latching, we were plain sailing and I was over the moon.

Birdy was exclusively breastfed up until 6 months, when we continued to breastfeed alongside solids in the style of "Baby-Led Weaning."

Looking back, our struggle didn't actually last long at all but at the time it felt never ending.

We are now dealing with a slightly dodgy latch due to 6 teeth sprouting out of nowhere in the past 4 weeks, but I can deal with that and am confident it will improve again.

There is so much media attention focussed on the "breast vs bottle debate" at the moment with lots of bottle feeding mums feeling attacked and judged, which I find upsetting. I actually feel this way myself as a breastfeeding mum, believe it or not. I find myself not openly talking about breastfeeding unless I'm asked, and even then, keeping relatively closed about the topic for fear of offending anyone.I worry that people will think I'm bragging and I'm really not!

I've been told in the past how lucky I am to breastfeed. If I'm completely honest, this bothers me a little bit as I don't personally feel that luck came into it very much. I struggled immensely. Although I'm very grateful that I was physically able to breastfeed, I also feel that it is a result of determination (or extreme stubbornness) and calling in a LOT of help (sometimes three times a day) from local breastfeeding support workers.

I'm really proud of how far my Birdy has come, and all the sleepless nights (which are still a regular occurrence at almost 11 months old!) are so worth it.

I really love our breastfeeding relationship and hope it doesn't end any time soon.

Love, Gina Xx

From Hospital To Home

The first few hours after the birth are a bit fuzzy to me.

Initially, I didn't care that the labour and birth hadn't happened according to my plan. Steve and I were both just so head over heels in love with this new tiny little person.

She weighed 6lbs 15oz and she was perfect. When she was awake, her eyes were big and open and almost black. She was perfect.

Steve called my dad first, then his own parents. I sent a text and photo out to the girls, whilst Steve did the same to the boys.

I was soon put on a ward with other ladies and their new babies, but I'd been sick throughout labour and afterwards, so they found me a private room.

A few hours later, I asked a midwife for some help with breastfeeding. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew I wanted to try it.

The midwife told me she was too busy, and to just "stick her on and see what happens." I was totally clueless about positioning, how to hold her, what a good latch, or even just a latch, looked or felt like.

I was given a little cup and a syringe, and told to hand express and syringe feed, so that's what I did, all night. I was very lucky to be able to hand express 15-20ml of colostrum at a time, I know some ladies find it hard to even get 1ml, so I'm really grateful.

Because of the meconium in my waters, Bird and I had to stay in hospital for 24 hours post-birth for monitoring.

Throughout the night, her temperature dropped several times and she had to be wrapped in lots of thick blankets and put under the lights on the resuscitation table.

She was jaundiced as she was struggling to feed from me through exhaustion from a long labour.

When the 24 hours were over, I asked to be transferred back to the MLU. I wasnt ready to go home and wanted more help with breastfeeding but I didn't want to stay where I was, where they were too busy to help me and made me feel guilty for inconveniencing them when I asked.

They said this was fine, so we strapped Bird into her car seat and set off. We stopped at Steve's parent's house on the way so they could meet her, and then my dad visited at the MLU.

It's such a beautiful place. We were allowed to put two beds together in our lovely room so Steve could stay with us for the night, and there was a nice big private bathroom for me.

The midwives there were incredible, so patient and friendly. Although Bird still didn't manage to latch that night, I continued with hand expressing and syringe feeding and I felt so relaxed, content and confident that we'd get there eventually.

On Sunday morning we went home. We stopped at Asda on the way for some food shopping and to buy some girly clothes in "tiny baby" size, as all of the newborn things I'd packed swamped my teeny tiny Bird!

When we walked in the door at home, we put our little bundle into her bouncy chair. It was completely silent and we watched for her for a few minutes before I burst into the happiest tears. I just couldn't believe our miracle girl was finally here, and we were home. I couldn't believe we'd done it.

Love, Gina Xx

The Labour And Birth Of Bird

I'd been scheduled for an induction on Wednesday 1st October.

I'd made the decision to cancel as my baby was not in jeopardy and I had my heart set on a beautiful, natural water birth at the MLU.

I'd been having contractions since Monday 29th September anyway, so I knew things were moving on their own (albeit very slowly) and that I would soon have my baby in my arms.

On Thursday 2nd October, at around 3.30pm, my waters broke and I immediately knew there was meconium in them (meconium is the baby's first poo, which should happen once they're born but often happens in the womb - this can be dangerous). There went my plans of a natural, induction-free birth, but at this stage all I was concerned about was my baby's safety.

Steve was off work unwell so he was resting. We headed to the MLU to be checked over, and they confirmed my waters had broken and contained meconium. They strapped me up to the monitor whilst we waited for an ambulance to take me to the maternity hospital 15 minutes away. Steve followed in the car with my hospital bag.

There was some concern over Birdy's heart rate. 3 people checked the trace from the monitor. Two were worried, one wasn't.

When we arrived at the hospital, a midwife checked me, told me my waters had not broken, and tried to usher me out the door telling me she had patients who were actually having their babies and that I needed to stop wasting their time. Charming! She also told me there was no concern over the heart rate, and that the midwives at the MLU who were worried were simply "wrong." This place was a far cry from the calm, serene and beautiful MLU I'd just left, and I did not like it!

I refused to leave and insisted someone else check me. Thank goodness. A lovely doctor with a portable ultrasound machine confirmed my waters had broken.

I was given a 6 hour pessary and put on a ward with 3 other ladies who were all either screaming or crying in pain.

I sent Steve home to rest - he hadn't been well and I wasn't expecting much to happen anyway. It was only 8pm and my pessary should last 6 hours.

At 2am, two midwives came to collect me and take me to the delivery suite.

Once hooked up to a hormone drip, I immediately started to have strong contractions every few minutes, very quickly turning to every minute, lasting about 45 seconds each, but the machine wasn't picking up on them.

Eventually a doctor came in to check my trace, swapped concerned looks with the midwives and urged me to call Steve back.

I knew I was in labour, but I also knew it would be a while before I had a baby and I really wanted Steve to rest. I was worried about him and wanted him to get as much sleep as possible so he wasn't too tired when things really got going.

His face when he walked into the delivery suite was a picture! It was around 7.30am  and he'd gone to the ward where he left me, only to find an empty bed. When he asked a midwife where I was, the midwife gave him a worried look and said "she's been in delivery since 2am, follow me!" They ran down the corridor of the hospital and he burst through the door, out of breath and frantic to find me with the gas and air thingy in my hand.

The doctor had been coming in every 30 minutes to check and sign my trace, and it turns out there had been quite a lot of concern over Bird's heart rate. They'd been telling me to hurry Steve up, not for moral support, but because it looked like I may be rushed to theatre at any moment.

It was still looking a bit iffy, so I was given lots of drugs including an epidural just in case I ended up in theatre.

The epidural failed and I could still feel everything. Birdy was back to back and the pain was excruciating.

The next few hours are quite a blur. I'd been given pethidine but it made me lose all control and I felt awful. I can't describe it. I was acting strangely and part of me knew this, but the other part just couldn't help it. I hated it.

I was finally told I could start pushing, and that if baby wasn't here within 2 hours, I'd probably be taken to theatre for some assistance or a C-Section.

One of the midwives got two hats out of a drawer and laid them on a nearby table. One was blue, one was pink.

1 hour and 47 minutes later, at 2.43pm on Friday 3rd October 2014, Steve said "we're going to need a pink hat, we have a daughter!" and our little girl was placed on my chest.

I will never forget that feeling of overwhelming elation, euphoria and love, it's indescribable. I remember saying "hi baby!" over and over, between little sobs.

I felt, and still feel, like the luckiest woman in the world to have my little girl and my amazing husband in my life.

Love, Gina Xx

My Pregnancy

I had a relatively uneventful pregnancy compared to some.

For the first 8 weeks, I felt healthy and so content. We'd told a few friends by this stage but for the most part it was still a secret, and I adored that time. As much as sometimes I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, there was something so special about our news being classified information. I felt safer and protected when only a few people knew.

I had an early scan at around 8 weeks to help date the pregnancy. Seeing our little baby on the screen for the first time was just incredible and so moving. There were no arms or legs, just a little bean shaped thing with stumps, and most importantly, a lovely strong heartbeat flickering away in the middle.

Also around the 8 week mark, Steve and I came home from a lovely dinner out and for the first time in my pregnancy, I was violently sick. I was sick all night.

I anxiously awaited the 12 week stage when I could see my baby again, and where I was told my sickness would subside.

My sickness did not subside. I was sick until 41 weeks pregnant, during the birth, and after the birth.

I became used to the sickness and was never hospitalised with it. I learnt to live with it everyday, and it didn't affect daily life very much.

The 12 week ultrasound was absolutely amazing. I couldn't believe the difference in 4 weeks. Our little bean with stumps was now a human shaped little thing, it looked perfectly formed and had little fingers and toes. It was bouncing around on the monitor, waving and doing somersaults. We watched in complete awe and fell in love all over again.

At 29 weeks pregnant, I felt little Birdy move for the first time. I'd been so sick the night before, that I actually worried the baby may have been harmed. But at around 7am that Sunday morning, my little one decided to let me know all was well in its world, and kicked me. It felt like being poked gently from the inside. Little jerky movements.

From then on, I felt movements every day.

At my 20 week scan, I had a mean ultrasound technician who was rude and condescending. I'd been anxious in the weeks leading up to the scan as I'd heard of serious problems being picked up on and I desperately wanted Bird to be okay, but the lady was snappy and not very friendly at all, which didn't help to ease my mind.

Thankfully, everything was fine although my placenta was slightly low, so she scheduled a 32 week ultrasound to make sure it had moved out of the way. If it didn't move, I may have been booked in for a C-Section which I hoped to avoid.

We chose not to find out the sex of our baby. I was convinced from very early on that we were having a girl and Steve wanted confirmation,, but I wanted that extra surprise in the delivery room. I wanted my husband to tell me whether I had a son or a daughter, not this horrible woman I didn't know.

I was 21 weeks pregnant when Steve started to feel movements. He just loved it, and I loved watching him bond with my little tiny bump by singing and talking to it.

There were a handful of times later in my pregnancy when I panicked. There were occasions when I didn't feel the baby move for a while, which was really unusual. There were other times when things just didn't feel quite "right" - I felt movements, but something just felt off.

I cannot stress this next part enough - if you're oregnant and you notice reduced movements or feel that something isn't quite right, GET CHECKED IMMEDIATELY. You are not wasting anybody's time and it's worth being checked over even if it's just for your peace of mind. Do not let anyone tell you that they're too busy. Insist on being checked.

On two of these occasions, Bird didn't seem too happy. One time, after the standard 20 minutes on the monitor, the midwife was concerned with the lack of movements so she gave me a very sugary cup of tea and kept me on the monitor. It worked, and soon Bird was wriggling away again as usual. The second time, I'd started to get an awful headache followed by blurred vision and even more severe sickness. I could hardly stand. Steve phoned the lovely Midwife Led Unit (MLU) and they told us I needed to get to the maternity hospital across town as soon as possible. They were concerned I may have pre-eclampsia and if so, wanted to induce me.

I arrived and had lots of tests done, but luckily there was no underlying issue. I was just severely dehydrated so they hooked me up to an IV and administered lots of fluids overnight. The next morning I felt much better and was desperate to get home. They were concerned I was still slightly dehydrated but they discharged me after making me promise to keep drinking lots. Bird had been a bit quiet due to my dehydration but was perfectly healthy otherwise, thank goodness.

I had several more ultrasounds as I had a small bump and there was an ongoing concern over whether my baby was growing properly. There was never any further concern over the size and with every scan I was given reassurance and the chance to see my little one again.

The 32 week scan was also fine, the placenta had moved out of the way so a planned C-Section wouldn't be necessary, which I was very relieved about.

At around 34 weeks pregnant, I began to really struggle for breath, particularly at night. I've always been quite small, and although I only had a little bump, it seemed like there was just no more room for baby!

By the following week, it had reached a point where I would be sobbing and pacing the house downstairs until 6am every morning, when I would finally collapse in an exhausted heap and sleep for an hour or so before waking up again.

We arranged a consultant appointment but all he could tell me was that my lungs were being squished by baby and were running out of space, so my lung capacity was quite drastically reduced.

At about 38 weeks pregnant, I cried to a midwife and told her I was scared I'd end up with postnatal depression once my baby was born through sheer exhaustion. She agreed and was very sympathetic, requesting the consultant organise an induction after 40 weeks pregnant. She agreed that from what I was telling her, I'd probably get more sleep with a newborn baby than I had been for the past month,

However, having completed a hypno-birthing course during my pregnant, I was determined not to use any unnecessary intervention, including induction.

I kept my fingers crossed and hoped I'd go into labour naturally.

My due date came and went.

The day before my scheduled induction, I called my midwife and asked her to cancel it. I'd been dealing with my breathlessness for 6 weeks and I desperately didn't want to jeopardise having my lovely natural water birth for the sake of a few less nights of breathlessness.

The rest will follow in my birth post! :)

Love, Gina Xx

Getting Pregnant

I met Steve in February 2012 and by mid-March, we were inseparable. He proposed to me in October on my 22nd birthday we had the most beautiful wedding in September 2013. We moved into a little house a few months later and in December 2013, we decided to start trying for a baby.

Because of cancer treatment Steve had undergone in the past, we didn't know if we'd be able to get pregnant naturally but our GP gave us the go-ahead to start trying and see what happened.

We couldn't believe it when, in January 2014, two lines appeared on my pregnancy test! There is was... That life changing moment. Before our very eyes, that second line appeared clear as day. It was undeniable. We were going to be parents.

We spent the rest of the day in a daydreamy blur with some episodes of laughing in disbelief and crying from pure joy.

We went to Sainsbury's to do our food shop and ended up sharing our news with a nice lady in the nappy aisle who probably felt slightly uncomfortable at being quizzed about which were the best nappies whilst she tried to do her weekly shopping with her toddler in the trolley. The lady behind the checkout then made the mistake of asking how old our child was when she saw nappies and no baby, giving Steve the opportunity to tell another poor stranger that we'd just found out I was pregnant an hour before. We were just so excited!

Over the next few days, we told my dad and Steve's parents. They were all over the moon for us and it was lovely to be able to get excited with them about it, although we decided to keep quiet to everyone else for the time being.

I counted my blessings over the next few days that we'd managed to conceive so quickly when we weren't even sure we'd be able to at all. For so many people, getting pregnant is a real struggle and I consider us extremely lucky we didn't have to feel that pain. I desperately wanted to be a mum and I can't imagine how difficult it must be when it just doesn't go to plan.

We feel so blessed to have our little miracle Bird.

Love, Gina Xx

Welcome!

Thank you for stopping by to read my new blog!

My name is Gina and I'm 24 years old. I live by the sea in Dorset, England with my husband Steve and our daughter, who for the sake of this blog, will be known as Bird.

I've been blogging for a couple of years now about my husband's journey with bowel cancer (ginasteveandcancer.blogspot.com) and recently decided to start a new blog about something that makes me happy. The subject I have chosen is my little Bird.

Bird is 10.5 months old, and my only child. I am not an expert so my posts will just document our journey as a new little family!

I hope you enjoy :)

Love, Gina Xx